A Memorable Conversation With A Warrior.
It’s sunset time in Pune and Isha has just entered the living room. After clicking some good clicks of the golden orange shades of the sky, she picks up her current read and starts reading it again. She read some 10 pgs of the book when her mobile vibrates, it’s a call from an unknown number. It annoys her that everyone wants to call her when she is busy with her books. But she picks up the call anyway.
Isha- hi, whose this?
Person- hii, Isha this is Karna.
I- sorry, I am not able to recognize you, which KARAN are you? Karan Patel/ Karan Patil/ Karan Singh/ Karan Singhania?
P- I know you won’t recognize me but you know me very well,you have spent so much of your time on me, precisely researching on me…
I- Excuse me???
P- yes, Isha I am the KARNA FROM MAHABHARAT! I am here to talk to you.
I- (Trying to control her laughter but then eventually burst out laughing) who…? The Karna from Mahabharat!!?? Stop it Rahul!! You are still the same as in school and doing prank calls being your hobby.
R- ok ok. You caught me, right. But man! You are precisely the same too..I still remember, in our school days when we used to play in PT lectures and you would be the one who spent all the PT lectures in the library reading history books, mythological fictions!! You were a mytho nerd. And now what you are going to a PhD in mythology!! That’s a huge bro! Congrats and best luck.
I- yesss I remember! Thank you. How are you?
R- Cool as always! And yes, if you get time from your mythology and get some time for your friends, There’s a school reunion this sunday. Do come and let’s have fun Isha with our gang!!
I- hahaha, it sounds great. I will be there.
She thought if her passion about Mahabharat has become so outspoken that her friends are making prank calls about it! Anyways I love mythology and am going to study it further and that’s all that matters to me.
A few days later..
The school reunion happened very well, Isha had enjoyed so much with her friends after such a long time. And now that she was back to her routine she had a lot of work to do.
So surrounded with many files, reference books, her laptop open, she was trying to work on her project but somehow she was not able to focus, she felt frustrated seeing her work not happening while the deadline was coming soon. She just cleaned her working space and made space for herself to keep her head between her arms resting on the table. This is what she always does whenever she is nervous.
Isha!, ‘Did someone just call me’ she wondered and looked around, although being alone at home, she was sure she heard her name. So she went to a nearby window to see if someone was out. But there was no one. And then she heard the same voice calling her name yet again. She could feel there’s an ancient sadness in his voice. And she turned back to see who was calling her but what she saw made her go weak in knees,she was so shocked that she had to take the support of the chair nearby.
There is a really tall man standing in front of her. He has this most intense eyes, a great physique and shoulder length long hair. He has a big bow in his right hand and has his remarkable golden pair of earrings and his gold armour. But it vanished the very next moment.
Isha recognized him the very moment she saw him and is still shocked trying to figure out things. ‘ What the hell is happening with me?!! Have I gone mad? All my research ,the books I have read, has it all gone in my head? Am I imagining things? Why and how am I able to see Karna right in front of me?’
“Yes I am Karna, the best friend of Duryodhan, the competitor of Arjun, the half brother of Pandavas but I am not exactly like this Isha, but this is how you know me and saw me very first time on your TV mahabharat ,isn’t it? I came here to talk to you and it’s really important”
Isha couldn’t believe what’s happening in her life.But as always described Karna as a great speaker,his words and his voice made her feel so hypnotized and was bound to listen to him.He told her that he wanted to tell her his story.And with that he started up again..
“ Everyone knows that I was a son of a chariot driver Adhiratha Nandana and his wife Radha ,belonging to the sooth lineage. And yes I was proud being a sooth, I never felt myself or my tribe any lesser than the brahmins and kshatriyas. This may be because my parents tried their best to raise me and wanted me to be a good person who follows his dharma. But the fact that the society never accepted me,every time my lineage was given more importance than my talent and they rejected me. And this really frustrated me.”
“Be it Acharya Drone who was quite impressed by skills as a teenager but then did not accept me as his student because I was a sooth. That’s why when my guru bhagwan Parshuram asked me about my lineage, I had to lie to him that I was a brahmin. Because after the rejection by acharya drone, it stuck somewhere in my mind that I had to become the best archer of the world and maybe my competition with Arjun, the favorite student of Dronacharya started from that time itself. But lesser than I knew that I had to face the consequences of that lie ahead. ”
Isha exclaimed, “yesss, we hardly see or read about you and Arjun talking straight without any tantrums” you both always wanted to mock each other,isn’t it?’ She also thought to herself about the reservation quotas of this era,which has nevertheless helped many less privileged to get a better life and good education but so many quotas have created limited scope for the open category itself!
Karna scratched his neck from back and smiled then continued further, “It was in the skill presentation programme when I met Duryodhan for the first and had my first ever combat with Arjun. It was great but felt like the day ended too soon.”
Isha interrupted him by asking, “Do you still love Duryodhan as your best friend? Ahh I wish you had never met him!” Karna laughed a little and said, “Ahh it’s difficult to say like Duryodhan has always been a bastard, an overly privileged and stubborn person who if he wants something, he wants it at any cost! Yes he was cruel,did a lot of pathetic things in his whole life — but then he did that one righteous thing of accepting me as his friend, giving me the respect which I craved life long and he chose me for my talent and didn’t bother about my lineage . He made me the king of Anga and thus I could fight with Arjun.And about what if I hadn’t met him.. I think me being on his side was destined,it had to happen either this way or the other.”
Isha didn’t look convinced about this so she asked karna, “why didn’t you raise your voice against your friend every time you knew he was going to mess it up? Why did you always get emotional blackmailed by him? And how could you become one like him at the time of the game of dice and Draupadi’s chirharan, didn’t you mocked Draupadi, then called her a “whore” and asked Duhshasan to strip her off her clothes? I never thought you would become a man who disrespects woman!”
There was sadness in Karna’s voice when he replied back to her, “Draupadi!!What a woman she was- bold, beautiful and fearless.I really regretted insulting her at that time. Whatever I did cannot be right in any way but what I did was because of firstly, the peer pressure of supporting Duryodhan as he felt insulted due to her and pandavas during the Rajasuya Yagna. It was me who saw the outraged Duryodhan, I saw revenge in his eyes,though he had always hated the Pandavas but I had never seen him so furious. Secondly in her swayamvar, she didn’t even want me to perform in the contest because I was a sooth and could win the contest too. But yes, I felt regret and sorry even more when I actually got to know I am the elder brother of pandavas, it was a terrible shock!”
Isha couldn’t stop herself from asking him about what all was going in his mind when lord Krishna disclosed your identity and offered you to join the pandavas, your brothers side, also how did you react when you met rajmata kunti as your own mother?
“It felt dreadful, when Vasudev Krishna told me who my real mother was, that I was the spiritual son of the Sun God and Kunti mata. Initially it all felt as mere strategy of Krishna for getting me on Pandavas.But Radha maa confirmed Krishna’s saying and said that I was no longer Radheya,it scattered me like anything. My whole life felt meaningless to me. Krishna suggested me to join Pandavas’s group as they were my own brothers!! He told me that Yugisthira would give me the throne after the war because I was the elder brother and it was my right, I would no longer be the sootputra Karna and would get all the respect and love that I deserved and I craved my whole life.But somehow he couldn’t convince me, I was under this deep false belief that Duryodhana has done great favour on me and that I owed him for my life time, also I couldn’t leave my best friend in that war time.
It was then mata kunti came to meet me and tried to convince me the same, she told me about my birth. Her curiosity about the Durvasa’s boon made her call the Sun God, he gifted me to her as her firstborn child. But then she felt ashamed, afraid about the society and had to leave me. I can just imagine the turmoil she had gone through, I don’t blame her — — no, I do! How can she throw me away to die,her first child? And the worst part is that she didn’t even have the courage to tell me the truth when she had recognized me after so many years. She kept quiet and let me suffer again and again, for her shame of illegitimacy? Why didn’t she tell me in secret? I would have kept it as a secret and would have not done all those mistakes and even this war may not have happened?
I told her, because she kept quiet,look how much I hated and envied my own brothers ever since I met them at that skill presentation or tournament in Hastinapur!! I told her that she should keep this as a secret ahead too. History knows Kunti as the mother of 5, it should remain the same. I promised her that I would not kill her 4 sons other than Arjun, I would only target Arjun. If Arjun killed me in the war, she has all her 5 sons together and if I killed Arjun, then I will come up as her 5th son and I would finally accept her as my mother”
Isha who has been listening to him wholeheartedly notices that both of them have glittery eyes and a timid smile. She asked him further, ‘ how was it to meet your father when he came to warn you about the indra’s conspiracy?’
He took a few long breaths and replied, “It always amused me how I am able to look straight at the sun with bare eyes while no one around was able to do it. Then I got the answer for my attraction, my devotion towards Surya Dev — that he is my father. Yes he came to meet me and warned me that Indra Dev will come in a sage’s attire asking me for my kavach and kundals(earrings and armour) as a charity.Why didn’t he have any belief in Arjun’s skills? Was he not confident about Arjun’s ability to kill me? But somehow I had confidence in my skills and so it didn’t hesitate to give them away. Yeahh it pained a lot as if removing my own skin! Indra dev was impressed with my actions and told me that I can ask him any boon. Initially I didn’t want to but then he insisted so I asked him for an astra that can only be used once and will kill any mortal or immortal by taking his name. I had decided to use it for Arjun, fair enough isn’t it?”
“No, I don’t think so! How can even Indra Dev even ask you for the same but I can’t blame him totally, after all what he did was for his son’s love ‘putramoh’. Weren’t even king Dhitrashtra and Gandhari too victims of ‘putramoh’ that could not do anything even after so many evil actions of their sons? I am sure even Arjun would not have been convinced with his behaviour. But you!! Didn’t think much, didn’t hesitate about not being immortal and that’s why you would always be called as DAANVEER KARNA!!’’exclaimed Isha.
Karna told her ,“I don’t know if I was a ‘Daanveer’ or not but it was in my characteristic or behaviour that I felt happy and satisfied in giving away. But then my fate played with me everytime, the astra which I had kept for Arjun , I had to use it on Ghatotkach, the demon son of Bheema. He destroyed a huge amount of our army!”
“Yeahh fates are cruel, and they have been crueler than usual with you.”Isha confessed. And then interrogated him again by asking, “ And what will say about Abhimanyu’s fate who was literally tortured and killed by your friends especially duryodhan and shakuni??”
“ ABHIMANYU!” Karna cried “ He was the bravest soul I ever met in life. You know all our life I and Arjun fought to get the title of the best archer but Abhimanyu literally snached it from us!! The tortures done to him, broke my heart into pieces, I pleaded and pleaded Duryodhan and Shakuni to kill him at once and just free from this torture but it all fell on deaf ears. They enjoyed themself fully seeing him in that obnoxious condition! Finally unable to take it anymore I made the final attack on him by inserting my sword in his stomach while I was hugging for the first and last time when he was in so fatal condition and weaponless I told him with that last injury he would be free from all the pain, the torture and he would get into the forever deep sleep. I killed two of my nephews!!” Tears flowed through his eyes and he let it flow.
With a choked voice and stammering he continued, “ After Abhimnayu’s death I was sure enough that no regrets, no charity of my whole life will repay the sins I have done in my life, wantedly or unwantedly. And yes the Karma returned to me in face of my death. Duryodhan made the Salya king my charioteer but when the wheel of my chariot got stuck in the mud and he refused to remove it. And I came down to remove it leaving my Vijaya dhanush my bow in the chariot. It was then Krishna ordered Arjun to kill me taking advantage of my situation.
I could see that Arjun was confused, not convinced by krishna’s order.So he had to provoke Arjun saying that if I could the adhrama (unrighteous thing) of attacking Abhimanyu when he was injured, weaponless and insulted Draupadi in the crowded court at the game of dice, why should he think of dharma and should just kill me.I tried to chant the mantra for my defense, but to my utter astonishment I was not able to remember them, not even the basic one! The curse of my guru Parshuram was being fulfilled. I was losing all my knowledge when I needed it the most.
In my last conversation with Krishna, yes Lord Krishna! He made me realise a lot of my misconceptions about life. He broke my false belief about duryodhan’s great favour by questioning me that if Duryodhan had accepted me with his whole heart, did he do anything for the betterment of the sooth lineage? Did he remove all the rigid unfair rules and tried to bring your lineage at the equal level as others and gave them right to education? No, he just used you for your skills, hatred and competition against Arjun. Krishna then provoke me further by asking that I always had problem with society treating the sooths differently but when you had the power to make changes for their better life, I was so engrossed in Duryodhan’s friendship and competition with pandava, my own problem became so big that I couldn’t see the problems of my own people.
I argued to him that I gave away all wealth as charity, on which he made me realise that if I had utilized my knowledge for the ones who were struggling like me for education, it would have benefited society. He told me that it’s me, Guru Drone and Pitmah Bhishma who are responsible for this war and not Duryodhan or Shakuni, if we had laid down ‘our false conceptions of the dharma’ and rejected to help Duryodhan, this war could have not happened. I realised how much messed up my life had become because of my wrong decisions and outlook. I didn’t want to live anymore, I wanted to be free from my sin circle. I told Krishna that I am ready to face my death, but I will still try to remove the wheel of the chariot because I am a warrior and would try till my last but not give up.
In the next few moments, Arjun raised his bow and aimed at me. I noticed he was crying, tears vigorously flowing through his eyes while I had a very unknown enigmatic smile. And then he shot his arrow and it hit in my neck. I was still smiling. In my last moments, Mata Kunti came to meet and disclosed my identity to my brothers. They all cried vigorously, but Arjun was sitting numb beside me. I told him that having competition with him was the biggest mistake of my life and that I always wanted to be the best archer but he was an excellent one. I patted his face and told him to do my last rituals and also make sure that my sons get good education. I asked all my brothers to promise me that they won’t abuse Mata Kunti. I said sorry about the Draupadi’s insult.
I met Radha maa and Vrushali for a few moments before I left. I told Radha maa that she would always be my mother and I her Radheya. I thanked her for all her love, care and the way they raised me up. I said sorry to Vrushali who was weeping beside me for the sufferings she had gone through because of me. I held her hand in mine and told her that she needed to be strong. I saw all the brothers touching feet, crying. I gave them blessings as an elder with a big smile on face and tears in eyes and then I left forever.”
There was complete silence in Isha’s room for the next few moments. Tears had been rolling through her eyes since long and now had dried up. She stands numb in front of Karna, while a lot of thoughts are going in her mind. Finally she cleared up her throat and looked straight at Karna and said,
“ You are the extraordinary hero of the epic Mahabharata! You were martially adept and equal to Arjuna as a warrior, a gifted speaker, had good knowledge of drama and you had flaws too. You loved the parents who adopted you,loved your friends and heritage.Your personality exemplifies a personality that does not “discard identity after identity, but rather one who thrives by accepting and steadfastly hanging on to a meaningful identity” Because of your some wrong decisions and outlook you have been in the wrong place at the wrong time.You were both generous to the Brahmins yet arrogant and cruel to the Pandavas. You bitterly opposed the Pandavas and were the pillar of support to the Kauravas, yet as you neared your fatal battle, you were also willing to accept your mistakes and recognize the good in Yudhisthira and the Pandavas you opposed.
You challenged the traditional outlook of Dharma, helped to improve the new outlook with your life long struggle. You gave more importance to your loyalty towards your best friend than the offer given by Krishna. Your story tells how circumstances can shape human behaviour and one’s personality. You have been the victim of circumstances beyond your choices! Life may have been unfair to you but you raised above pity. Despite your flaws we still admire you! You are a flawed, tragic hero but a HERO!”
Karna patted Isha on her shoulders made her sit comfortable on the chair, wiped her tears and gave her an assurance smile. “ Come on Isha, stop crying I didn’t come here to make you cry again and again but to tell you something important which is still pending. Look here and listen to me. I want to tell you some important life lessons which I want you to remember forever and never make the mistakes which I did in my life.
Firstly, you are blessed and talented. So don’t ever let success go in your mind. Bring excellence in your work. And never ever take your talent for granted. However great person you become, be grounded, remember where you started from. Be kind and help others in a productive way.
Secondly, you know throughout my life, one thing has been constant i.e. loneliness. Yes, I had a long friendship with Duryodhan and also spent good time with Vrushali too but I never shared my thoughts much with anyone and suffered alone. Isha, learn to share your thoughts, yes initially it may be difficult but then you will get along with flow. Have a good relation with people around you, have some close friends but yes choose them wisely! Also observe your behaviour from time to time, our mind is so fickle at times we don’t even understand that we are flowing in wrong directions. I know you are not a small girl now but a sensible one but circumstances change the person”.
Isha gave him a big smile and said thank you to him and assured him that she will remember it all. “ All the best for your PhD! My blessings are always with you.” Karna said with a big smile and disappeared away the next moment, leaving Isha astonished with the happenings in her life. But she felt thankful and blessed for whatever happened and now has a very fresh perspective towards her life, work and dreams.
